The blossom tree outside my window is a vibrant pink, a mass of tiny flowers, some emerging, some fading, all in a process of change. It is hard to discern one flower from another, to see which is fading and which is just beginning to bloom. The overall impression is of colour and growth and the promise of more life to come.
But that is only half of the story. Most of the tree looked dead before Spring arrived but now tiny droplets of colour creep up its bare branches, surprising me with its resilience. Earlier in the year we thought we would have to cut it down and some wood may indeed be dead and need pruning away so that the rest can flourish, but I will wait a while to see what emerges.
At this time in my life, I feel very like that tree. As I age, there is no doubt that some of my ‘wood’ may appear to be decaying and a cancer diagnosis last year made me face my own mortality. But while my body ages, my soul remains a constant source of resilience and growth and this time feels like a precious Spring of renewal and potential.
Part of that renewal, and the focus of these posts, is an exploration of what it means to live authentically in tune with my own unique soul. For too long in my life, it felt as if my soul was trapped by the expectations of others, from the demands of my critical mother to absorbed cultural expectations of motherhood and relationships, which cut off connection to my true being. But now, while my body changes and my joints stiffen (despite regular yoga!), I can see that my soul, the curious, rebellious essence of me, remained throughout.
My soul today is composed of all that I am, and all that I have been and experienced through my life: childhood, motherhood, love enjoyed and love lost, times of happiness and times of grief and pain. They are all part of who I am, and every new day, every experience will add to that so that I will always be a ‘work in progress’, a story without an end. Living from my soul is not about returning to some state of new born innocence, but about the here and now. Living from my authentic soul is about accepting the truth of who I am, my truth, in each and every changing moment.
My soul is both permanent and impermanent, constantly evolving but, like the sap running through the tree, bringing new life and potential in every season. Who knows what life might still blossom from this old wood!
The tender blossom tree, and my soul, will need my care and attention, nourishment and protection against drought, wind and storms. Who knows what its future might be but, for this day, this moment, it brings colour and joy and that is enough.
Miranda, this is lovely! And totally resonates with me. And Amen that we are living from our authentic Souls. Nothing could be better or more true!! Thank you for sharing this. XO
Wonderful comparison with this stunning tree. A real promise of hope when we see the cherry blossom in full bloom, one of my favourites. Hope you're in good health 🌸🌸🌸