Soul Gardening Part 4 – Autumn Fruits
Reflections on a year of Soul Gardening
Autumn has come to the UK. Misty mornings and the wonder of evening fields glowing under the gold of the Harvest moon. It is a time of gathering in, of reflection, and, as the children go back to school, of looking to new beginnings.
The Autumn wind brings a promise of energising breezes, of fruits to bottle and freeze before they fall to the ground and are wasted. It is time for me, and my garden, to settle and prepare for winter, to let the sap sink in my veins, to store up resources until Spring comes again. It is time to let things fall away to allow for new growth.
A year ago I began a journey to try and uncover and live from my authentic soul. In truth I’ve been on this journey all my life, but this year I decided to focus on some of the questions that had been whirling around for so long:
- What is soul?
- Why does this stuff matter?
- How to I uncover my own authentic soul?
- How do I live in tune with my soul?
I began by reading, and re-reading, other writers and perspectives on soul – Thomas Moore, John O’Donohue, Brian Draper, Satish Kumar as well as Richard Dawkins, Jonathan Stedall and others while beginning to sense my own thoughts and explore practices such as soul walking and soul journalling. These reflections became short essays on Substack, a space for sharing my explorations and for reaching out to other soul seekers.
Oscar Wilde wrote: ‘The final mystery is oneself. When one has weighed the sun in the balance, and measured the steps of the moon, and mapped out the seven heavens, star by star, there still remains oneself. Who can calculate the orbit of his own soul?’ (Wilde, De Profundis)
My journey is without end. But what have I learned so far….
- What is soul? My grandson summed it up as ‘it is what makes you who you are’. My sense is that we are born with a soul and when we die that soul is the part of us that remains, in the ether and in the hearts and minds of those who love us. Intangible, yet essential; invisible yet the most visible part of us; unchangeable but shaped by life’s experiences and challenges.
- Why does this stuff matter? From my own life, and from my work as a child psychotherapist, I know that there are too many unheard, lonely souls out there - and mine had been one! Souls that are crushed before they can emerge and flourish. Souls that can, and must, be nourished and freed to live in the beauty of their authentic selves. This stuff matters if it means that we can live in our own unique ‘aliveness’ and, in turn, nurture other souls to flourish.
- How do we uncover our own authentic souls? There are many wise guides out there to help and support your journey. For me, it has been about playing! Finding places and moments that nourish my soul and savouring those in journalling, painting or poetry looking for any patterns that emerge. I have spent time exploring my own ‘soul story’, reflecting on what, or who, has nourished, or depleted, the growth of my soul.
- How do I try to live in tune with my soul? One of the most important lessons has been trying to discern between the voice of my soul and the voice of my ego which John O’Donohue describes as ‘one of the greatest conflicts in life’ (Anam Cara, 1977, p.77). So, with that in mind. where am I now, in this Autumn season of the year? As I reflected in my post ‘The Blossom Tree’ (May 2024) :
My soul today is composed of all that I am, and all that I have been and experienced through my life: childhood, motherhood, love enjoyed and love lost, times of happiness and times of grief and pain. They are all part of who I am, and every new day, every experience will add to that so that I will always be a ‘work in progress’, a story without an end. Living from my soul is not about returning to some state of new born innocence, but about the here and now. Living from my authentic soul is about accepting the truth of who I am, my truth, in each and every changing moment.
Like any plant, my soul will always need tender care and strong support to repair, if never fully heal, its brokenness. There will be more storms to weather, more scars to carry and caring for my fragile, flawed soul will be an ongoing process.
For now, my soul is looking towards new projects, new beginnings and, although I may return to these musings in the future, it feels time to let them fall away to allow new growth to rise.
Soul stood at the fence, peering out at the wonders outside and longed to run there in the tall green grass, wild and free, to feel the soft soil beneath her feet and the wild wind in her hair. But the fence was high and jeering faces lined its gaps so she couldn’t see a way through. She tried different gates, twisting the locks, searching for keys. This one, then that, opening for a while but every time the world outside felt confusing and lonely, the grass rough and scratchy, the wind too strong as if it might lift her and blow her away into oblivion. So again and again Soul went back through the gates and threw away the keys in disgust. They weren’t for her. This was her place, inside the fences that kept her safe from the wide, wild world. She told herself that a safe, half-life was better than risking the wind that might blow her away. But still the outside called to her, still she looked for a new gate, reaching over the fence to touch the tall green grasses waving to her. She never gave up until the day came when the grass grew over and through the fence, weakening it bit by bit until the wind could blow it away. Soul was free to wander where she wanted. No fence between the safety of what she knew and the world of wonder and beauty outside.
And Soul stepped out, putting one foot in front of the other, and began to explore the wide, wild world.
I am grateful to all those who have subscribed and shared my ponderings to date and look forward to reading all your words. May your journeys with your souls be full of adventure and wildness. May the wind be at your back (as the Celtic prayer says) and may it blow your souls into a beauteous tangle of words and dreams. Go forth, fellow soul seekers and, as
reminds us, give the world your medicine.Miranda